Thursday, March 01, 2012

Lakewood Eugenics 2012


The fog was as thick as the mystery surrounding the top secret meeting about to take place in the non-descript bi-level house off the lake. Dark cars were emerging from the white fog one by one and dropping off their cargo at the front door.
The Rabbonim, Roshei Yeshiva, Menhalim and Menahalos took off their coats and entered the dining room. They were all gathered for the monthly meeting of Lakewood eugenics and bio-engineering.
Eugenics was a pseudo science championed by many scientists at the turn of the 20th century. It sought to engineer the creation of an Ubermensch or Super Person by selectively breeding smart and talented men and women. This could be achieved voluntarily or through euthenasia programs like those utilized by the Nazis in their desire to create the perfect German youth.
The men and women in the room were a select group of High School directors and principals for boys and girls. Their goal was to effect eugenics by means of segregation. They hoped that by only choosing the Aleph Aleph students to their schools they would over time force those students who weren't the smartest and most elite to either leave town, leave the fold altogether or at the very least to associate with lower elements of society. Then the best of the boys would marry the best of the girls. This way they hoped to create the "perfect" student within 2 generations.

Rabbi Genasky of Yeshiva Mekor Habrocha was the first to speak..
"Rabboisai, imagine a world where we won't have to worry about any challenges", he said passionately," no more explaining the Gemora more than 2 or 3 times..or having give any more of our precious time than is necessary".
Rabbi Steinberg of Mishkan Torah was the next to speak.
He looked back at his own time in Yeshiva and wished things were different.
"I remember we had a lot of boys in class that were mitziyanim but there were also some weaker boys. Oy they used to drey us a kop to help them understand the Shiur. I don't want my Talmidim to have to go through that. I want them to be be able to plug over my shiurim with all their focus."

They all nodded in agreement and smiled to themselves.

As they left into the silent night they all took with them the secret dream that was finally coming to fruition. The dream that was soon to be a reality, and they were the chosen leaders that would breed and groom this new super race into a glorious future for Lakewood.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for saying what needs to be said, as only you can.

March 02, 2012 10:34 AM  
Anonymous Lakewood Realist said...


You my friend, are good. Very good.

Great Post. And leyder very true.

This mitzuyanim thing gotta stop. The fixation on "mitzuyanim", is IMHO, ONE of the root causes of the exploding at-risk kids phenomenon.

March 02, 2012 2:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sad reality , you have spoken the truth .

March 04, 2012 1:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh please this is sick and demented. The only reason the schools are so picky is because the hypocritical parents demand it. The same ones that cant get their kids into school are saying, 'i would never send to a school that accepts so and so..' the hypocracy starts with out very selves and our very own hypocracy. There's no conspiracy, the schools are just businesses that need to stay afloat..and meet out stupid elitist demands.

March 04, 2012 1:49 PM  
Anonymous DavidOnTheLake said...


I'd appreciate it if you rephrased that to
"..the hypocracy starts with 'my'self and 'my' very own hypocracy'
"...and meet 'my' stupid elitist demands."

I never authorized you to speak on my behalf.

March 04, 2012 2:29 PM  
Anonymous Soul comfort said...

Beautifully spoken words about an ugly subject.

March 04, 2012 2:36 PM  
OpenID colloquiallyspeaking said...

"...why i don't live in israel anymore. my sanity comes first..." - DOTL
and this is sane? not that you should come back here...but lakewood is another level of yeridah man...

March 05, 2012 2:13 PM  
Anonymous DavidOnTheLake said...

Funny how everyone is assuming that I oppose this..


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