Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I hate the way I am...


I hate..
That I’m not aggressive..
I hate..that I wish I was..
I hate that I procrastinate..
I hate not accomplishing..
I hate that I feel the need to..
I love that theres always a tomorrow
I hate that one day there won’t be..


.

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21 Comments:

Blogger shlomit said...

I feel for you.
I sometimes hate me being me, then I realize it takes away to much energy. Energy I can use to o startlearninghow I am and how I can help myself become the person I wold like to be.

I wishyou a better day.

July 17, 2007 9:07 AM  
Blogger The Dreamer said...

Hate is a strong word, my son.

Well, when everyone around you expects you to be aggressive, it's kinda hard not to want to be, but believe me, you're better off for it.

Why do you hate the feeling of a need to accomplish? That's innate. We're supposed to want to accomplish.

Ah, but you never know when that tomorrow won't be. There's always tomorrow to change, but no time like the present to LIVE, to BE.

July 17, 2007 10:32 AM  
Blogger the only way i know said...

I admire the general contentedness you have in life, but it must be hard when you feel this tugging feeling deep inside that disturbs you.
While I think it's great that you are generally content and happy and easy going.. it's a pleasant personality to have..
I believe these feelings you are having are messages you should listen to quietly. Don't fight them. Find a peaceful place and listen to them.
Don't try to figure out the answers right away, don't condemn yourself, don't condemn others or condemn circumstances. Just listen. Someone important is talking - namely .. you.. Listen.

July 17, 2007 11:54 AM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

Shlomit...
I hear what ur saying...and thanks for stopping by..
But this is a passive hate..but it still does sap away emotional energy..that must be chanelled..

dreamer..
Thanks for your oh so true words..
oh I know..I choose my words carefully..
I know..
I know
I know
I KNOW..
This is just the way I'm feeling now....

towik..
wow..beautiful comment...Thanks

July 17, 2007 12:20 PM  
Blogger Chaya said...

You hate??
This is who you are...this is you.
All of those things you are not, that you wish you were, are a part of what makes you the person you are.
If you were all those things, you wouldn't be you.
Wouldn't that be a shame?

July 17, 2007 3:05 PM  
Blogger chaverah said...

remember love and hate are the same emotion. When you write you love "that there's always tommorrow" gives a wonderful contrast to rest of the post. BTW I feel the same way!

July 17, 2007 5:06 PM  
Blogger The Dreamer said...

then we'll let you to your feelings, shall we?

you don't always have to be mr. perfect, you know.

July 17, 2007 5:20 PM  
Blogger Sara with NO H said...

Well someone's having my day...

July 17, 2007 8:43 PM  
Blogger Sara with NO H said...

I figure my last comment was tacky, although true, so I'll just say, please, chin up. We all have our moments of self doubt, and they come and go like the seasons, only more often. *hugs*

July 17, 2007 8:45 PM  
Anonymous chana said...

... don't we all?
judge ourselves,
resist that judgment,
judge out resistance...

just be.
let yourself be.
accept your being, your whole being, your vices, your wishes... even your self-loathing.
and be a little compassionate... the same way you'd be if someone you loved & respected deeply told you that they felt very badly about themselves- because of the things that you know makes them such a beautiful person.
be that compassionate... to you.

July 17, 2007 9:01 PM  
Anonymous chana said...

sorry - i meant:
judge our resistance...

July 17, 2007 9:02 PM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

chaya...
true but they could be challenges..

chaverah...
Thanks..I think alot of us can..

dreamer...
lol thanks
I'm faaaaar from perfect..

sara...
Thanks for the comment...(and the cow lick..lol)
True...theres a spring around the corner..lets just hope I can make it bloom...

chana...
wow thanks..
I know..I do accept it..Its just frustrating sometimes..

July 17, 2007 10:31 PM  
Blogger Sara with NO H said...

Glad you like my new display pic :P AND I'm glad I made you smile.

July 17, 2007 10:39 PM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

:-)

July 17, 2007 10:41 PM  
Blogger The Dreamer said...

dave - you just pretend to be...

July 18, 2007 12:34 AM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

when did i ever pretend to be perfect?
lol

July 18, 2007 9:16 AM  
Blogger Bas~Melech said...

brrrr... what a post.
I think we all have those times. I'm not worried about you, especially after those last two lines.

Chaverah -- I hate when people say that. I don't think Love and Hate are even opposites on the same continuum, let alone actually being the same emotion.

July 18, 2007 11:54 AM  
Blogger The Dreamer said...

ummm... dunno...

but if you ever wondered, you sure ain't.

(now, don't I know how to give ego boosts? LOL)

July 18, 2007 12:38 PM  
Blogger exsemgirl said...

Someone once told me that the first rule to longlasting happiness is to love oneself unconditionally.
But how far we are from that.

July 18, 2007 2:21 PM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

bas-M...
Thanks..I'm fine..
:-)

dreamer...
never even wondered...lol

exsem...
hmmm u can still be frustrated by things u shoud be doing

July 18, 2007 4:46 PM  
Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

It's the worst feeling to feel you don't like yourself, usually moods change the way you feel about yourself.

July 20, 2007 9:49 AM  

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