Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Snooze Blues

There comes a peculiar time
Comes around every week

The world turns upside down
As a mysterious haze
Descends over our nation
Begins to slowly drown
the entire frum adult population
Once every 7 days

And the cabal of our children
Lie waiting in
Of every dining room
Waiting to assume
Their brief control

Sugar and candy become the new cuisine
Forget protein
Vegetables are now candy corn
As package after package gleefully torn
Plaque and yellow#5 join in this coup
Formerly pink tongues turn red, green and blue

White shirts undergo a remarkable transition
Changing color as often as Daddy changes sleep position
Upstairs blissfully unaware
As another suit pant suffers a tear

There is a darker side to this power grab
And unfortunately we must pick up the tab
For many children are shaped
by this time of the day
Molded for life by the goings on
while you snooze away
Sexual molestation and orientation
Social misfits
And others

So while we all need this visit to our blissful lair
You might want to keep an eye open and be aware

Of what the youngins are up to




Blogger Pragmatician said...

I agree, parents ought to sleep with one eye open.

December 27, 2006 4:16 AM  
Blogger anonym00kie said...

totally cant relate, but i love it!
actually i can somewhat relate - i somehow always avoid spending shabbos by people with lots of little ones.. theyre cute and adorable and sweet.. but my nap! i need my nap!

being a parent is scary..isnt it?

December 27, 2006 8:51 AM  
Blogger Happy Huband said...

Hi David love you rpoetry
Just to let you know I have a site dedicated to Shwarma. Do you like shwarma?

December 27, 2006 9:42 AM  
Blogger yingerman said...

got kids?
sleepless nights are what keeps em in line
I mean what more can we do!

December 27, 2006 12:16 PM  
Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Good post:)

December 27, 2006 1:13 PM  
Blogger southernyid said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

December 27, 2006 1:51 PM  
Blogger southernyid said...

I remember the old days of fighting with my wife over "first nap" since we knew that whoever went second never went. Now that the kids are old enough to watch themselves they fight (each one not wanting the privilege) over who has to make sure to be home to wake me for mincha.

December 27, 2006 1:53 PM  
Blogger Sara with NO H said...

I was smiling all through this post until I got to the end and realized I was holding my breath.

December 27, 2006 4:11 PM  
Blogger jemima3 said...

I couldn't survive without my shabbos shluff but boy do you make the goings on downstairs sound sinister! lots of nash and arguments I can identify with but as for the rest.. can't say I agree.

December 27, 2006 5:20 PM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

Don't worry I'm not saying this happens a lot but it happens. Trust me on this one.

December 27, 2006 6:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

David what a dark post. I wonder what influenced it. I do so love surprises and this post dramatically turned a corner. Bravo!

December 27, 2006 8:44 PM  
Blogger bellanny said...

parents need to have eyes in the back of their heads.

December 27, 2006 11:51 PM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

ok..now practice..lol

lol..ok..well ull want to stay faaar from my house on shabbos afternoon..
yes it really is scary...


we can watch over them..who their friends are..etc
But its more siyata dishmaya then anything else..


lol yup I remember those fights...during those months I was convinced I'd never ever sleep again shabbos afternoon

well..thats what I was doing when I was writing it..

lady delish...
well a few things influenced it....some recent occurences during nap time...as well as some memories from the past...

yup..its a good thing I grew a pair..lol

December 28, 2006 1:37 PM  
Blogger anonym00kie said...

tag- youre it

December 28, 2006 2:23 PM  
Blogger southernyid said...

I know what you mean, during those months my wife was convinced of the same thing. :)

December 28, 2006 3:28 PM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

Ok Ok..I'll get to it...Its kinda hard to narrow it down to 6 y'know

How did u pull it off?

December 28, 2006 3:48 PM  
Blogger tuesdaywishes said...

Hubby and I made a deal as soon as we had two kids that I nap first, but then I take the little kids out of the house so he can nap. The big danger zone is when they are old enough to be out all afternoon, which can mean 2 to 8 pm. Got to know whose basement everyone is hanging in, and why. Thank G-d for my (relatively) good teenagers!

December 28, 2006 5:58 PM  
Blogger kasamba said...

That is the scariest thing I've ever read! And that's why I have a babysitter!

December 29, 2006 4:48 AM  
Blogger chaverah said...

do you want me to have nightmares when i sleep???? The way i understand your poem you can never be fully relaxed! I agree to always be aware what your children are doing and going.

December 29, 2006 8:07 AM  
Blogger southernyid said...


You are correct.

1) one of our kids used to get up at night and wander aroud the house we would get up in the morning and see chairs pushed up against whatever she was trying to reach.

2) We lock our bedroom door but the kids know where the key is, it used to be on the highest bookshelf inside a leichter that we did not use (in the candle part sticking out). One night we hear the three year old crying, not wnating to get up I tell him to go lay on the couch since this often works. two minutes later i hear him yelling that "the key does not work". I get up and see that he somehow got the key down without killing himself and put it in the lock but then he was just trying to turn the knob he did not know that he had to turn the key first.

December 29, 2006 10:04 AM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

smart arrangement..
thats exactly it..the bottom line is its a few hours a week where kids basically have no supervision..

well good for u...thats great..u can truly relax..

December 29, 2006 11:12 AM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

parents can never truly relax...
just read southeryids comment..

December 29, 2006 11:14 AM  
Blogger southernyid said...

Chasdei Hashem. If your kids do not run you ragged there is something wrong with them.

My father always says that if tzar giddul bonim was easy it would not be mechaper on meesa

December 29, 2006 1:26 PM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

If we could get away with Tzaar Gidul banim of the running around chasing them variety we'd be very lucky and fortunate

December 29, 2006 1:36 PM  

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