Friday, April 20, 2007

Shabbos Sacrifice


Shabbos has always been my refuge..getaway
My oasis...in the vast dessert of the day to day
When I can put my yetzer hora to rest
And experience a time..thoroughly blessed

However, the last few weeks..I’ve felt something
Something different..a little depressing
Perhaps a midlife crisis of sorts
My heart and memory in cohorts
Reminding me
Binding me
To past sins..
Happenings
I’d rather forget
Yet
Regret
Intensely
Sooo
Intensely
That it wont let
My shabbos function
The way it should
As thoughts of eternal damnation
Awaits my poor soul..
She seems to be aware..on the day
She is fully awake..

Then I thought
Fought
These damaging thoughts

Why the heck am I here?
In this world?

I’m here for him
His honor
His glory
What right do I have to worry about myself?
And so I pick up the pieces
Enough selfishness


What will be with me...in the next world
Is none of my concern..
My only concern
Is what will be with God this world
And melancholy on shabbos or anytime is absurd
And this strange joy
Develops
Envelopes
Consumes
Resumes
And I dance to Hashem
For the gift of Shabbos
And the privelege of being able to praise him..
Even for one moment
Even if I’m marched
Into the gates of hell..
For all eternity


.

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12 Comments:

Blogger nuch a chosid said...

wow!!!! wow!!!!

It's so beaufulluy written.

I don't have enough talent and understanding to really get how good you write.

It takes one to know one!!

Shabbos is the recharger day of a yid, in rochniyus and in gashmiyus!

April 20, 2007 3:54 PM  
Blogger anonym00kie said...

youre awesome!

i love this line: "When I can put my yetzer hora to rest"
that's what its about, isnt it? that's why shabbat is so amazing, it's when all those distractions are gone and we can be who we wish we always are

love love love it

April 20, 2007 5:26 PM  
Blogger Bas~Melech said...

Wow.
That was profound.

Sometimes I think along that line, but I don't recall connecting it to Shabbos like that.
Beautiful.

April 21, 2007 9:38 PM  
Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Beautiful poem I am sure you are not alone with these thoughts.

April 21, 2007 10:41 PM  
Blogger rivka said...

"What will be with me...in the next world" is a question that's always in my mind.

Do you take the pictures yourself?

April 22, 2007 2:16 PM  
Blogger The Dreamer said...

Beautiful!

What will be with me...in the next world
Is none of my concern..
My only concern
Is what will be with God this world


I love that.

April 22, 2007 4:27 PM  
Blogger Lvnsm27 said...

beautiful and excellent example of rising above the yetzer hara who tries to bring us down.

April 22, 2007 6:41 PM  
Blogger Bas~Melech said...

This is what I think when I daven for Moshiach. I think, help! Where does that leave me? It's scary! Then I have to remind myself, like DOTL did, that it's not about me here, but for G-d alone.

April 22, 2007 9:38 PM  
Blogger the only way i know said...

my favorite lines were the same as dreamer's
a very special and beautiful post

April 23, 2007 7:55 AM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

nuch...
Thanks..
Its sure is.

anonym00kie...
Its amazing how u enter a different existence..its always so sad when it has to go..

bas_melech..
no...it doesnt have to be conne ted to shabbos..for me..I feel it most acutely then

swfm...
thanks...i know I'm not

rivka...
its important to keep in mind but not to make that the focal point of your mission here
and some pics are mine..others are not..This isnt

dreamer...
thats really the gist of it...I couldne just posted that line..

lvnsm..
thanks..
Thats his goal..

towik..
thank u

April 23, 2007 4:38 PM  
Blogger Mata Hari said...

Am I the only one who was disturbed at your thoughts of eternal damnation? Why can't you do teshuva? Or am I being too literal and messing with your poetic license? Sheesh David...what goes on in your head!

April 24, 2007 9:40 AM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

mata hari...
Yes you are being too literal lol
Of course I dont believe in eternal damnation...

April 24, 2007 4:44 PM  

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