Friday, October 19, 2007

The Gods never forget...


Chaim crept through the corridors of his dark mansion to his impressive mahogany study.
He sat down in his leather chair leaned back and closed his eyes. It was 5am in the Weiss home.
He pulled out a cigarette and puffed langurously while spinning his chair slowly. The center of his shrine. This was his daily ritual but today he had a worried expression on his broad face.

It has been 7 years since he had discovered his new religion and his God. Out of Yeshiva his father in law bought him a nice 5 bedroom home in the posh part of town. His eyes opened to a new world and new desires.
One chilly October morning he was sitting in his study analyzing the overnight markets when he had a vision. It was an incredibly lucid apparition. His God appeared to him and spoke to him. The Almighty Dollar told him he must be worthy of his benevolence and must follow his instructions to be bestowed by it. He explained that he receives his almighty power from Judaism, and so Judaism must be used to transfer energy to Him. Certain chants and rituals are especially potent and that if he obliges then he will be handsomely rewarded.
After a few weeks of daily communion and following instructions, The Almighty Dollar started keeping his end of the bargain. But he also made more and more demands. He said, I need you to show your devotion to me by buying a new car that wlll be the nicest car on the block. Chaim gladly obliged enjoying the pleasures of his riches and the gawking of those not enlightened.
Just before Pesach, Chaim was told by The Almighty Dollar that he was not alone. There are many other hidden co-religionists hiding within the ranks of Judaism supplying TAD with his power and influence. He was taught to learn how to identify them and gravitate toward them in shul. He was cautioned to make sure not to get caught in the lure of Judaism. To especially avoid reading Koheles on Sukkos. To sit and talk and not listen to the distracting words.
Before Yom Kippur, The Almighty Dollar came to him in a more somber voice and told him tomorrow would be a big test. TAD gets a lot of energy from this day and from the devotion of his followers. In order to counter-act the strong spiritual pull of the day he was advised to focus instead on bidding and buying Maftir Yonah and Pesicha for Neila. He expected his followers to bid exhorbant amounts, thus illustrating their allegiance and devotion to him.
And so life cruised in this fashion for many years. The house became bigger and bigger, the shrine more elaborate, his wife and kids dressed up to please their new Master.

Everything came to crashing halt last week when the stern looking Doctor told him the words every human dreads to hear “I’m sorry, you have cancer..”
Cancer? How can that be? I’m young. I’m in pretty good health. Chaim was not used to feeling this way. He was used to being the one to call the shots.
He came home to a very somber atmosphere. Suddenly the 10 foot ceilings and the excessive mouldings looked disgusting to him. The chandeliers were too much. The mirror mirror on the wall did not reflect back the fairest of them all.
Here he was in his leather chair, eyes closed in the stillness of pre-dawn. His God was angry with him and was ignoring him now. He desperately needed to summon the Almighty God of Health. He went through prayer books and books of Segulos but could find no way to please a God of Health.
It didn’t take very long. In 3 months he was gone.

His wife made sure that he had the nicest and most expensive tombstone and every year on his yahrtzeit as his wife and children drive up in their brand new,shiny cars, wearing the most expensive clothes, they would always find a mysterious red rose at the foot of the tomb.

The Gods never forget...

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24 Comments:

Anonymous YudNo.22 said...

the rush before sundown! i will print this one out. i was just wishing a friend sweet shabbos. i think this will sweeten my own!

it's probably wise to comment *after* reading, verses before. but, i suppose that only applies if you have no knowledge of the author!

October 19, 2007 3:09 PM  
Anonymous YudNo.22 said...

had to get back on. this story is not exactly "sweet." i would say this man is like the ones G-d passed over in looking for someone like Abraham?

favorite line:"To sit and talk and not listen to the distracting words."

October 19, 2007 4:27 PM  
Blogger BEHIND A SMILE said...

Ah ... back to your usual melancholy style ;). The only thing really worth pursuing that you take with you to your grave is your Shem Tov.

October 20, 2007 4:26 PM  
Blogger The Dreamer said...

He merited to have his wife and kids remember him each year?
Must've been the bidding on Yom Kippur....

October 20, 2007 8:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

chilling chilling...

October 20, 2007 10:48 PM  
Blogger LakewoodShmuck said...

bllod curdling. OOOUCH!

October 21, 2007 12:44 AM  
Blogger LakewoodShmuck said...

bllod curdling. OOOUCH!

October 21, 2007 12:46 AM  
Blogger jewmaican20 said...

Chills are literally running up my spine...

October 21, 2007 4:16 AM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

22...
:-)
ye..but I see people all around me like this..

behind a smile...
I see you did indeed read koheles..
and ye..melancholoy rules!

dreamer...
well...the fact that they are following in footsteps..might not be such a merit to him..seeing them..

anon..LS and jewmaican...
hehe

October 21, 2007 1:57 PM  
Blogger Bas~Melech said...

Hm. Sad but too relevant: yep, another DOT classic.

October 21, 2007 3:09 PM  
Anonymous YudNo.22 said...

well, maybe these people, with all the money, they could give me a job?

elsewhere, the sky is falling.

October 21, 2007 9:56 PM  
Blogger Lvnsm27 said...

deffinately something to think about

October 22, 2007 3:28 AM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

bas melech...
thanks..

22...
hmmm i can ask
:-)
falling? how so?

lvnsm...
think away

October 22, 2007 8:38 PM  
Anonymous YudNo.22 said...

please do. shall i send a CV?
:)

Henny Penny-esque. "The sky is falling!"

October 23, 2007 9:45 AM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

22...
wait a second..
Hes not alive anymore

October 23, 2007 8:56 PM  
Anonymous YudNo.22 said...

well, that depends on which version you're reading.
but it is a very deep tale--highly applicable to today's media and such.

October 24, 2007 10:04 AM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

22...
Not just media..
I look around in shul..

btw..why 22?

October 25, 2007 7:46 AM  
Anonymous YudNo.22 said...

eyes to see, ears to hear

these are gifts, right?

hmmm.....

you are where you are
you see what you see

hmmm...




22? it's like the yud, for me, a spark of the divine. this guy, whom i believe is my beshert, he and i decided on this day once, the 22nd. it never happened, and yet, it's this strange phenomenon--when it see it, in the clock, on a calender, a No. anywhere, i am lifted beyond earthly realms, and i can't help but smile. i know there are 22 Hebrew letters and maybe there is deeper significance, but, for me, it's like a double agreement, a confirmation, a nodding of the face of G-d my way.

October 25, 2007 10:29 AM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

22..
Yes they are how we perceive the world..which then become our reality..
so important indeed...

Hmm very interesting..

October 26, 2007 9:04 AM  
Anonymous YudNo.22 said...

but our perception is not always reality.


maybe not as interesting as the mystery before it was told. (ah, such is life.)

October 27, 2007 10:14 PM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

22...
Our perception is the only way we get to see the world...so in essence it becomes our relaity...
Unless one creates an alternate reality in his/her mind..

well..theres still much mystery left to ponder..

October 28, 2007 10:04 AM  
Anonymous YudNo.22 said...

yes, but this is skewed. the more whole we become, or transformed, or, however you want to call it, the clearer our perception becomes.
this, i suppose, is where we are to learn compassion and humility--or judgment, if need be.


good. mystery is good.
plus, do you realize, i had to comment, so that this would be one of those moments, when G-d nods!
(smile)

October 28, 2007 8:11 PM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

right...but thats not really perception..thats already our reaction to what we perceive...

October 29, 2007 9:08 PM  
Anonymous YudNo.22 said...

true. but those misgivings are valuable in teaching lessons, and those lessons lessen our inability to see things clearly.

October 29, 2007 10:38 PM  

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