The Elul Paradox..
Ani L’Dodi V’Dodi Li
I am for my love..my love is for me..
The month of Mercy..Rachamim
Yet..its also a month of trepidation..
Aryeh Shoag..a lion roars..who’s not afraid?
What is the nature of this Elul?
I once saw..the reason why the time of Shaalosh Seudos is called Raava D’Raava which means Desire of Desire and is entirely under the influence of love and mercy is because it is the moment right before creation.
Creation started Sunday Eve, Motzei Shabbos.
Now we know that creation was an act of love. The purpose of the universe is Gods desire to give.
Every action is preceded by an instinct.
Imagine you walk into a store and see a beautiful gift for someone you love. You decide to buy it. The moment before you take action, there is a thought, an instinct that gave birth to the action.
So the moments before creation is when this pure impulse of love and goodness are awakened and in this state there is no manifestation of judgement or Din, as it is just a desire.
So during the time of Shalosh Seudos its called Raava D’Raava..the world itself being an act of Love and this moment being the pure love that became the catalyst for the more complicated (to our eyes) love in creation and the world.
So I think one can look at Elul the same way. The weeks directly preceding Creation as being a time when this impulse of Ani L’Dodi manifests itself.
But on the other hand this can also cause a tremendous counter effect, if the love is not reciprocated.
Because..although it’s so difficult to be good in action, and it takes so much work.
Whats the excuse not to want to be good?
So the Ani L’Dodi has to cause a L’Dodi Li..and it should at the very least cause a sigh to escape our lips....