thanks God..I'm good...

.

It's so easy to go through the motions of life without hearing the underlying language that is being communicated.

Every once in awhile I'll buy a lottery ticket when the jackpot gets big enough for my one dollar investment.
But suddenly I thought to myself while circling the numbers, what the heck am I doing?

Basically I'm telling God.
God..thanks for being there for me every day of my life and making sure I have what I need.
But..I'd rather just have the money in my account and not have to come on to you...don't take it personally..

Is there another way to play?


.

Black Friday

.

That day that sees millions of Americans up all night, sometimes camping out in frigid conditions, to save a few bucks.

and you shall be a light unto the nations.....


.

ThanksGiving

.


when you give thanks
...to people
you're acknowledging
...and appreciating their ability
to let go of self...so

in reality...
..you're thanking
God


always


.

Where freedom resides...

.

freedom of choice..
....does not always reside
in the freedom to choose

but rather
...in the belief
that you have that

....freedom




.

shabbos morning rendezvous

.


my entire week exists
..for this moment
it's a moment so blissful
and still
....its the spot
around which the water
ripples
...the wind..leaves
swirl outside its
windows
..trying to rattle it
but instead...just adds to
that tranquility
while the house is
so warm..and still
shabbos morning
.....waits for me
while everything slumbers
..silent rendezvous
like a warm glass of
...books and ideas and
nothing
...and no one
to upset
that perfectly
balanced
slightly
scented
serenity

I'd love to capture
that...
...but capture seems
too harsh a word
..for so gentle
a time



.

R' Nosson Tzvi Finkel Zt'l

.

The Rosh Yeshiva Zt'l was a churning cauldron of love and joy.

Anyone who was ever in his presence can attest to feeling the love that emanated from his very essence toward others, especially his talmidim.
I remember Rosh Hashana after the first night of davening, the entire Yeshiva would line up to give and receive a Shana Tova bracha from the Rosh Yeshiva. He would stand on his feet for hours supporting his shaking hand with his other arm while his whole body was moving in all directions. Every single student got the same smile and the same drawn out L'shana Tova Tikoseiv V'sichoseim L'alter Chaim Tovim V'Shalom....every word loud and clear accompanied by a huge smile. And then he waited to answer Amen to the Bracha received. Thousands of boys...!

Watching his shiurim was breathtaking. He would stand there supported by 3 shtenders shaking like a tree in a hurricane, with this utter look of pure rapture on his face. He was the happiest man on earth when he was giving over his learning.

He took his Parkinsons Disease and turned it into a never ending dance... And I always got the feeling that those watching him struggle were more exhausted than he was..



I still cannot believe that he's not with us anymore.

.

what they're trying to say....

.

fine...have it your way
...lock me out of the house
for my errant ways
am i a bad boy..
again..?
am i not who you want me to be?
...are you embarrassed of me?
not your nachas machine??
...lOOk into my eyes
doncha DARE look away
....are these not the eyes
on your living room walls?
not just on bathroom stalls
...so here I am daddy
like an ugly cancer..there
Ive said the....word
Cant you see....?
..every time..I say F__K You
I'm beggin..you...on my knees
..like I did when I was three
Every time..I puNch you in the face
...I'm hugging you
so tight
..Im j just so scared
that youll peel my fingers off
again..and throw me to the floor
...so this is my new lang-wedge
its my graffiti painted shell
...my own comfy hell
its the bed you made..for me
..but now its mine
I'll wet it as much as I want
..without your shame
but deep deeeeeeeeeeep
.....down
I'm waiting for you to say..it's ok
and dry my tears
..and keep your baby warm
but unlike baby jessica
no one is climbing
...THAT deep..
for crap like me



.

100,000

.


Sometime today..this blog received its 100,000th visitor.

Ordinarily I wouldn't make a big deal...but the fact that it comes the same week that earth received its 7 billionth makes one wonder..hmmm coincidence?





definitely


.