Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Snooze Blues

There comes a peculiar time
Comes around every week

The world turns upside down
As a mysterious haze
Descends over our nation
Begins to slowly drown
the entire frum adult population
Once every 7 days

And the cabal of our children
Lie waiting in
Of every dining room
Waiting to assume
Their brief control

Sugar and candy become the new cuisine
Forget protein
Vegetables are now candy corn
As package after package gleefully torn
Plaque and yellow#5 join in this coup
Formerly pink tongues turn red, green and blue

White shirts undergo a remarkable transition
Changing color as often as Daddy changes sleep position
Upstairs blissfully unaware
As another suit pant suffers a tear

There is a darker side to this power grab
And unfortunately we must pick up the tab
For many children are shaped
by this time of the day
Molded for life by the goings on
while you snooze away
Sexual molestation and orientation
Social misfits
And others

So while we all need this visit to our blissful lair
You might want to keep an eye open and be aware

Of what the youngins are up to



Sunday, December 24, 2006

oops wrong blog!

You know..I happen to love Christmas music and why shouldn't I? All the famous ones were composed by Jews!

Consider this list...
"White Christmas" by Irving Berlin
"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" by Johnny Marks
"Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow" by Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne
"Silver Bells" by Livingston and Evans
"The Christmas Song" (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) by Mel Torme

One thing that bothers me though...all this talent...c'mon you guys you couldn't write one decent Chanukah song?
All we're left with is..
"I have a little dreidel..." by Unknown

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Chanukah for the ages..in the ages..

Going to say farewell to Chanukah with another dawn shot of the lake..this one from yesterday..and a poem from last year..

Lying on the grass on a warm spring night
Sky so black
Stars so bright
gazing up..
losing myself
Barriers no more...
The twinkling lights I see are from years past
from millions of miles away
Everything meets in a gaze..
My gaze

Sitting by my Menorah in the darkened room
Sky so black
Flames so bright
losing myself
Barriers no more..

These twinkling lights are from years past
and glorious days to come

These lights are from thousands of miles away..
from a special place..

Everything comes together in my gaze..
Everything comes together..

On Chanukah


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

a picture or two

Dawn on the lake 12.19.06

Third Night of Chanukah


Monday, December 18, 2006

Alexander The Great argggghhh

Chanukah Chanukah for a history buff
Like me and others..just cant get enough
I endeavor
This trek to those days
I encounter this man I utterly despise
(To rhyme..Option 1: DAYS with an Australian accent Option 2: DESPISE with an Irish accent)

You see this man, although great, gives me a complex
I’m sure you’ve heard the name, his name is Alex
Alexander the Great what an enormous legacy
Conquered the Civilized World by age 33

Here we are in the year 200and6
Still naming our kids Sender and Alex
Not to mention Cities
and Candies

And me?
My thirty third
Is fast approaching swift as a bird
And I’m still working on the uncivilized world
Of my kids...
and my desk...
and my mind


Thursday, December 14, 2006

Beauty in Contrast

No question.....

There is beauty in contrast
Coffee tastes so much better after a long fast..

Music oh so much sweeter after the 3 weeks..y’know?
A warm tub soaking your thawing feet after a long hike in the snow..

A warm tiny crying baby after hours of difficult pain
The warm rays of spring after the long frost..snow and rain

The glow of the light..immersing our tired weary eyes
In the midst of the darkest dark
It touches you..
envelopes you..
Washes away all the loneliness..
Lonely souls..wallowing in the dark
Crying at night..
Tears of futility..leaving their mark
Cries of frustration...frustrating plight
There is a light...
The brightest of all
It will touch you one day
It will touch you

The contrast will take your breath away.

Its the light of redemption..the light of Chanukah..

Happy Chanukah



Tuesday, December 12, 2006


A short story by me..inspired by Mark Twain

I slowly squeezed a slice of lemon over my piece of salmon taking in the sharp citric scent as the Guest of Honor of the evening was dramatically introduced. New to this community I was well acquainted with tonight’s honoree. David Greenstein. His reputation was stellar, his credentials impeccable, an accomplished man in every sense of the word. As the packed hall stood to honor this man he slowly approached the stage to accept his award and deliver a short speech.
“Lucky son of a gun”
“Excuse me?” I exclaimed turning toward the distinguished looking older man to my right.
He looked at me with wise and knowing eyes and repeated “David Greenstein is a lucky son of a gun”. “How can you say that?”, I interjected before he lifted his hand leaned back glass of wine in his hand smiling and continued in a low tone.

“The ways of the world are strange, the paths are many, but none more important than the path called luck."

"When David was 19 and in college a beautiful girl inexplicably fell in love with him. When her wealthy father saw that there was no dissuading her in her love struck state he decided to try to remake this unbecoming man. He hired a tutor a week before finals to administer a crash test prep. Faced with such a tall order the flabbergasted tutor just hammered into his head questions and answers from a previous test hoping that enough of those questions will be on this years test. Unbelievably, every single one of those questions was on that years test as well and old David”, he said with a chuckle, “got the highest score in the class.
Armed with this as well as well positioned connections of his now father in law David moved onto the most prestigious ivy league colleges and was hired by a well known law firm right out of college despite his mediocre marks. There he deftly moved from one debacle to another all neatly covered up until the legendary Bernstein Case when as prosecuting lawyer he incredibly misplaced the main piece of evidence just before it was to be presented. Of course no one could’ve possibly known that the defense’s entire case was based upon debunking that piece of evidence thus displaying to the jury the prosecutions incompetence. So to everyone outside the law firm David was an absolute genius”, he paused to sip his drink. After wiping his lips he leaned closer and said “ahh but it was too close for comfort and Davids father in law once again mercifully took him into his own successful stock trading firm.
And so began many years of wheeling and dealing but actually sitting around running Daddys errands and playing solitaire until one fateful day in August 1996”. Suddenly more animated he continued, Rumors were circulating that Nemco pharmaceuticals was about to declare terrible earnings and the market was panicking. Daddy in law ordered David to sell all their thousands of shares of Nemco as soon as possible but he inexplicably attended to something else first and by the time he got back to his desk it was too late, the market was closed. Imagine how livid his father in law was! Needless to say he slept on the couch that night”. Here my gesticulating narrator burst out in quiet laughter and continued with some difficulty, “so the next morning the wires are buzzing with activity, the FAA has just announced that they’re approving a new powerful cholesterol reducing drug manufactured by Nemco! The stock almost tripled at the news and they were the only big players still holding onto large numbers of the new gold! And yes once again David Greenstein was a genius!

And so I repeat what I told you before and add that with a bit of luck the world is yours for the taking.

And yes David Greenstein is a lucky son of a gun!..He spit out as he rose with the audience to applaud his beaming son in law.


Sunday, December 10, 2006

A Tale of Two Critters

A Tale of two critters..
Two cousins
Two rodents
One loved..watched..fed
The other loathed..feared..killed
Same basic anatomy
One has large eyes..slim figure..bushy tail
The other..beady eyes..fat figure...slimy tail
They both survive
They both thrive
One scampers in yards..up trees..through the park
The other in sewers..and subway tunnels in the dark
One is fed the fruit of the earth
The other feeds off the refuse of earth

Look around..you’ll see squirrels and rats
All around..
Your neighbors..colleagues...family
We feed off love..self worth and esteem
Its what keeps us alive
Wherever we find it..in order to survive

So next time you’re about to label someone
A child
Tell him he’s not smart..not good looking...not like his siblings
Tel her she’s not pretty..not skinny...has no friends

They’ll survive
They’ll even thrive

Not as a squirrel
But perhaps as a rat...

Got a problem with that?


Wednesday, December 06, 2006

just a toothpaste observation..

So..it's that time a night again. Time to wash up...and brush my 3 year olds teeth (or more like suck the toothpaste off the brush) when I notice that the flavor of the toothpaste is Bubble gum flavored!

Yes..Bubble gum flavored toothpaste. Quite possibly the worst thing for your teeth..

Can you imagine for a moment anti-cholesterol medicine tasting like fried eggs and hash browns?

Have you heard? ..Tums now comes in New Baked Beans flavor!

How about an Anti-Depressant that smells like your ex's favorite perfume..?


Monday, December 04, 2006

Nostalgic overload

picture was taken a few years ago in upstate NY

swept downstream
Down my river of tears
Swept along the years
Powerful beat..
Sad refrain..
Joyful chorus
So tired..
Resigned to fate
Hug me again
Let me cry
Let me dance
Let me feel every moment
To submit to every sight..scent..sound
Embrace me
Embrace every moment
In every lifetime
Sweep me along
Eyes closed
My lifes chorus
Let me see those faces again
Those I miss
Best friends
Grandparents...that hugged me
Before they died
Let me hear that song again
On the old grey taperecorder
Let me feel that emotion
That joy
That little boy
So tired
Swept downstream

The Michtav MiEliyahu explains that a persons soul has millions of facets that are revealed to us as moments in our lives.
So nostalgic feelings are not just nostalgic feelings, they're yearnings for fragments of our souls that we can never have back..


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Friday, December 01, 2006

Frumkeit and Frum Culture - The Great Misconception

I'm reprinting this from my old blog..because I think it really helps explain most of the issues that are discussed on blogs lately..

There is this great misconception about our society.
This misconception is both false and harmful and it has led many off the derech.
Have you ever asked yourself ...How can a frum person do that?
How can a frum person behave that way?

Then you are under this false impression as well.

Frumism (anyone else have a better term?) is not a religion.. it’s a culture.
It is a culture that incubates a religion.
We dress a certain way, we listen to our own music, we have our own lingo, and we teach a certain lifestyle but we can’t force thousands of people to think a certain way and to believe in certain things.

Religion is strictly between God and the individual.

It just so happens to be..that of all the cultures in the world, it’s easiest to practice Frum Judaism in this Frum culture.

After all, they share so many similarities. This culture has you going to shul anyhow ...and it has you refraining from work on Shabbos anyhow...

But ultimately it’s up to all individuals to decide whether or not they choose to do so. Sometimes a person will go through the motions and go daven for an entire year and will only have kavannah once or twice. There’s the example of how the culture is an incubator for the religion. In order for our religion to survive in America a Culture had to be created to surround it. To keep us going through the motions during our weak moments and generational lapses.

However our Education System does not focus enough on the individual, on every persons relationship with Hashem as an individual..and instead it allows us a glimpse of Hashem through the prism of the community. This is something that I believe should change..

If one realizes this he will not become disoriented by “Frum” Jews not utilizing their personal choice of tapping into the Religion within.