Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The Longest Haircut


It might take forever
but at least its for free

I might not like the styling
but I cant be too picky

of course I have no say in the matter
hence this spin on my mane

the Lord is my barber
I shall not complain


Thursday, May 24, 2012

The Missing Man

I have to..
I had to...
I have to have this because...
I had to do that because...
It's just what we do...
Stop asking me so many questions!!

Like Eichmann 
who had to follow orders
..and the guy on the train
with the earring
...and the one next to him
with the hat
...and the woman next to him
tired...has to make dinner
for her family..
...because it's what we

Angry Resentful People
trying so hard

Did you notice..?
there was one person
so obviously missing
amongst the thousands

...the most important
person on earth

The Individual

the free individual human being
who makes choices
and lives with eyes wide
o     p     e    n

I choose to...
I chose to...

(it really makes no
difference why
you choose to)
If it's my choice
I own it

Do not take away my
smothering me in
"has to"
do not halve me
with "have to"s

Empower me
Educate me
Inspire me

I get up in the morning
..and go to work
because I choose to
..she makes dinner
because she chooses keep her family fed
and happy
...and when she chooses not to
she doesn't
..and lives with the consequences
a human being

tomorrow night
I will choose to accept 
Gods gift

because it's what I choose to do
and that's all that matters


Thursday, May 17, 2012



Whenever parents bury a child, it's just the saddest thing.
I don't know how people have the strength to bear such pain.
But for me it's especially heartbreaking when I know the young boy and his sweet smile that the world will never see again.

The community always responds in the same knee jerk reactionary way.
Looking for possible reasons.
Like a guessing it tznius? or loshon hara? or perhaps sinas chinam?
Trying to appease an angry god.
Quaking in their pants wondering if they're next.

To me that's just so twisted.

The lessons here are staring us in the face.
Children are so vulnerable and delicate.
They need more hugs.
They deserve more undivided attention.
Stop texting when your child is talking to you.
Stop hurting them by yelling and demeaning them.
Surround them with love..not manipulation.
Create a safe place for them...and they will grow into healthy adults.
If you create a hostile environment for them, the'll spend the rest of their lives trying to protect and defend themselves.

The bottom line is.
The length of our children's years is something completely out of our control.
The quality of of their time is COMPLETELY in our control.

There's no guessing game here. This is the inherent lesson within this tragedy.

Yosef Meir Berger Z'L

Monday, May 14, 2012

unwanted transfer

minding my own business
walking down the street
when this well dressed man
falls at my feet..
..there is anguish in his eyes
he starts beating his head
to the ground..and his cries
oh his cries and his wails
"I can't take this anymore..
as blood starts pooling
my blood starts pounding
as I beg him to stop
Talk to ME
what's going on??
I'm shaking now
..anguish in my eyes
I fall to the ground his problems
become mine


Monday, May 07, 2012

God is....


People travel all over the world looking for God.
They climb mountains and seek guide doGs.
People peruse books and search secret tomes for the elusive God.
When all this time He's been hiding in broad daylight..
And we push him away..and bludgeon Him to death.
Look around.
Turn on that little switch in your soul..that will open your eyes.
And you'll see.

God is....
......other people.


Tuesday, May 01, 2012


There's a huge fraud being perpetrated on our community by none other than our leaders. I don't believe that it's being orchestrated willingly but that doesn't make it any less scandalous.

I'm talking about the very lucrative better parenting/better interpersonal skills motivational speeches/courses industry.

Here's why it's a complete waste of time and money.

The above mentioned issues are not issues which can be logically addressed and fixed. 
The perceived issues are really inside of you or me or whoever is going for help.
The root cause of the problem can usually be narrowed down to a few deep rooted faults that have usually been with us since childhood.
But here's the cruel part.
These traits have been acquired when we were in a stage in our lives where we had no choice in the matter, and so were crucial to our survival.
Anger, Ego and Fear are some of the bodies means of preservation..and when it comes to preservation, no logic in the world can override the mammal inside of you.
Just like you can't help salivating when you're really hungry and a piece of food is placed before you.
People need to realize this.
Instead of acknowledging this, people shame and hide their dark sides compounding the problem.
The more something is smothered..the more it needs to breathe.
One way out for a persons dark side is through projection.
When a person has an issue that he's ashamed of he'll try denying and smothering it. But when that person sees someone else with this same issue he'll project all his anger outward onto that person. This is why people with their own issues are always the first ones jumping all over others with the same issues. Their anger and disgust suddenly has an external target.
Unfortunately this happens oftentimes with our own children.
When a child of ours has a trait that we hate in ourselves, we WILL feel fear, disgust and anger. You can go to a million will not help.
Until a person can accept and love himself completely, even his dark side then he will be stuck.
I'm really not sure if the speakers themselves know this or not but if they do then they're doing their audience a terrible disservice.
I personally know of a famous Rav who is a very famous writer and speaker on Shalom Bayis and Chinuch who is an absolute terror in his own home. I'm friends with his son and he would tell me how his father would abuse his own wife mere minutes after counseling other couples.
I truly feel bad for this man. He knows what to do...but CANNOT..because he has not resolved his own internal mess.
I'm not going to go into how this is achieved but I will say that the first step is internalizing the fact that there is no dark side. It's all you and it's all there for a reason.
It's just a shame that speakers don't notify their audiences before expounding on their genius theories.